Listening Skills
According to Richard Carlson, “being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human hearts” (“Listening Sayings and Proverbs”). The fact of obtaining listening skills by me can be arguable; however, I always try to experience partner’s emotions deeply. When the topic of the discussion is serious one should no joke during the conversation. I have always supported my partner’s wish to express his/her ideas because this gives an opportunity to gain more knowledge or to become better. However, not all ideas are worth being listened to. In this case, I always control my face expressions and gestures in order not to offend the partner.
Sometimes I am a poor listener. Firstly, after long working hours I am too tired to listen to someone’s long explanations attentively and politely. In this case, our discussion should take place some other day. I never do pseudo-listening or feeling in the gaps. I consider adding or inventing the information as a waste of time. Secondly, the topic of the discussion may be too boring, therefore, I may distract myself and think about something more interesting. For this reason, my self-evaluating is for selective listening is 3. (I do it from time to time). Avoiding stage hogging does not always take place in communication, especially when the topic is very interesting. Therefore, my self-evaluation is also 3.
It is so convenient to be the victim and turn off solving problems that seem too difficult or unpleasant. Insulated listening never results in overcoming them and they have a strong tendency to accumulate. I am too often an insulated listener. When I am angry or offended by my partner, I start ambushing. It results in quarrels, mutual claims, and rising of tension for long. Consequently, my self-evaluation is 5 (I do this all the time).
I have never analyzed my communicative skills according to this classification. It has helped me to evaluate them more objectively. I really need to improve them. I believe that each person enters my life to teach me either to be sympathetic and patient or to protect my values.
